Yes, if you hate yourself and you’re living a reckless life, you probably should work on you a little (life coping tools) before investing in someone else. But the idea that you have to fully love yourself before loving someone else is not true. I find it a ridiculous notion that people who read too many self-help books put on. It can be a wall we hide behind because we’re afraid to REALLY love.
It’s also lined with shame. It sets you up to ring a high bell that’s unattainable, because loving yourself doesn’t come with a certificate or a finish line. It’s a life-long process. It’s not a class. It’s a concept.
Like any relationship, your relationship with yourself goes up and down and sideways, and requires a daily feed. It changes as you change, as your circumstances change, and the people around you change.
The takeaway here is that we learn to love ourselves through other people and the relationships we have with them. We are literally designed to learn, grow, and love through other people. We are tribal creatures. We’re not meant to do life alone.