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Codependency vs. Counterdependency

When we think of a codependent person, we have this stereotype in our minds of someone who is just really "clingy" or "needy" in relationships. But that is not the only way a person may express symptoms of codependency. Counterdependency is the other side of the same coin. They both are signs of similar trauma in childhood, just different reactions to the same trauma.


A codependent person clings to others, while a counterdependent person pushes others away.


A codependent person acts weak and vulnerable, while a counterdependent person acts strong and invulnerable.


A codependent person is overwhelmed by his or her feelings, while a counterdependent is cut off from his or her feelings.


A codependent person is other-centered, while a counterdependent person is self-centered.


A codependent person has low self-esteem, while a counterdependent person has falsely-inflated self-esteem.


A codependent person acts incompetent, while a counterdependent person tries to "look good".


A codependent person feels guilty, while a counterdependent person blames others.


A codependent person displays victim behaviors, while a counterdependent person tries to victimize others before they can victimize him or her.


A codependent person is a people pleaser, while a counterdependent person is a people-controller.


{From the book, "Breaking Free of the Co-dependency Trap" by Dr. Barry K Weinhold and Janae B Weinhold}

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