Do you ever find yourself operating from a set of equations and parameters? Often times we are unaware of what that equation is... is it the anger that (seemingly) automatically sets in? or is the anxiety that just seems to be ever present?
Imagine exploring what that equation might be...
Anxiety = Uncertainty x Powerlessness
How common are both of those intense emotions for you? Powerlessness and Uncertainty? What do you do to avoid those feelings?
Powerlessness by definition is "lack of ability, influence, or power". How scary is that!? All I heard for a long time when I thought of powerlessness was "WEAKNESS". The truth is that Powerlessness is our "inability to control the outcome". We can't control who is harmed, whom is protected, and what the lottery numbers consist of. Acceptance of our inability to control the outcome of a situation or experience is what we struggle with most. We run to control through whatever tactics have worked best in the past (ie. anger, manipulation, emotional terrorism, etc). Sadly these tactics are often effective, but they come at a cost... sanity, respect, dignity, most importantly surrender. Surrender is our turning over our will and allowing something greater than ourselves to help us, to step in and remind us that we aren't alone (or in total control). When we surrender we are reminded of the reality that we are not all powerful. This gentle reminder sometimes hurts because we sometimes try on that costume, but Halloween is over and it's time for us to grow up, let go of control, and allow others join us.
Uncertainty by definition is "not able to be relied on; not known or definite". Evolutionarily we want to be able to predict what's going to happen and what is happening. It helps us to prepare for the next attack that could be fatal. We exhaust much of our energies to try to prepare for and predict a multitude of situations. We compare ourselves to others, their facebook fantasy lives, their IG mastery of parenting, their LinkedIn career successes. The reality is that the only thing that is certain is change. Change is ever constant and ever occurring. We must adapt and adjust. That graceful dance comes from our willingness to be led and fluidly experience the rhythm of life. We can choose to two step it for the duration of our life, only staying in our little box of control and safety. Or we could waltz across the dance floor enjoying the different perspectives being led by the divine leader simply flowing around all others. That sounds like grace and favor to me; being taken from one position and perspective to another. We just have to remember that we aren't leading because then things get complicated and off beat.
That graceful dance comes from our willingness to be led and fluidly experience the rhythm of life
Naturally the combination of powerlessness and uncertainty causes a violent reaction inside of us. The heinous beast called Anxiety that consumes our energy, thoughts, and physical systems. It creates disruption in sleep, fearful reactions towards the thoughts of the future, and distorted view of self and others.
The ways to best the beast are to...
Confront your thinking
Accept our powerlessness with faith and surrender
Become fluid in life situations (let go of control)
Call Angie today for more help with your emotional equations